Simply Flipping the Equation...

So....I'm sorry this post is so late. I meant to write it as an immediate follow up to "Crying Out" but as usual, my good intentions always seem to find an escape route.

Since that post I have had a ton of very sweet friends and family either call, email and text and ask if Jared and I were alright.

Yes, Jared and I are okay. In fact, we are better than ever.

I feel like this is the culmination of a two year long journey and am finally at a point where I am ready to brutally honest with myself and with God. If you been keeping up with my blogs (okay, the whole three of them!) lately, I've been so tired of my Christianity being so self-focused. Aren't I made for something else? To be part of a community that reaches out as the loving hands and feet of Jesus Christ in a very practical way? I don't say this as someone else who thinks of them self as better than other Christians, but as someone who has been ignoring the call of the Lord for my own life.

Until now.

There's no more excuses, no more laziness. I want to break fee of this bubble of familiar, self-security to explore just how the Gospel can transform lives and communities here in Portland. I've received the most incredible Biblical foundation at my church but now I feel like it is time to go out and DO something with it.

At communion a couple of Sundays ago (at a church different then we normally attend), I watched as about 7 minority, inner-city high schoolers went up with their Young Life leaders to take communion as a family. Despite the troubled homes and diverse backgrounds of these kids, they circled up, with their arms around each other and partook. It was so beautiful to witness and I remember thinking, "This is what Jesus is talking about. This is a picture of what the church truly is."

I guess I'm just ready to follow and see where God takes us. It's just been so neat to dive into this with Jared. His heart is in the exact spot as mine and I love what we are exploring in our devotion time together. God is truly changing our hearts and growing me in ways that I never would have believed two years ago. I'm almost sick when I look back on my ugliness of being so incredibly judgemental and/or religious toward so much in my life. I feel like God has brought us full circle and it reminds me how God never, ever gives up on us and that there is always beautiful redemption in Jesus.

I would like to finish this blog with this little tidbit from a book entitled, "Quaker Summer" by Lisa Samson. I read it almost a year ago and while I had (again) good intentions of reviewing it for the blog, I never got around to it. I was flipping through it once again a couple of weeks ago and fell upon a passage that couldn't more exactly describe what God is doing in our lives right now.

Let me set this up for you...

Heather Curridge, seems to have everything going for her (great church, loving family, nice SUV and house on the hill) but is secretly falling apart as she realizes she is at a crossroads in her life. She finds herself spending the summer with two elderly Quaker sisters and a nun who runs a crisis center in the rough part of town. In this scene, Heather is talking with one of the Quaker sisters(Liza).

(Liza) "Certainly. So did your church encourage you all to move outward, or was it inwardly focused?

(Heather) "Mostly inward. I did much more for my church members than I did for my neighbors, if that's what you mean."

She places her hand on the doorknob. "Maybe God's simply flipping the equation."

**First of all, I cannot stress ENOUGH that I am in no way implying some underlining or attacking message against a church. I refer to this quick passage because it describes in the most simple and beautiful way what I feel like God is calling us (Jared and I) to do in OUR life.**

It just reminds me of this saying we heard a week ago at Bridgetown Ministries and I pray it stays with me for the rest of my life....

"Don't just go to church...BE the church."

"I praise you Lord for using us and allowing us to grow in a way that brings glory to YOUR name. May we never lose sight of your truth and calling in our lives. Mold us, shape us, and thank you for bestowing upon us these amazing lessons and opportunities for growth...even despite the times we try to get in way."

Amen.

Stiamo andando in Italia!

Bring on the spaghetti, art, beautiful landscapes, and historic architecture, folks...Jared booked a wedding in Italy for next summer!!!! Can I please just tell you how humbled I am right now by this blessing? I'm so overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord! Italy has been my dream destination ever since I took a year of History of Western Art in college. I never thought I would actually ever get to go....


The castle where the wedding will be taking place.


The nearest city to the castle. I can't remember the name of it though...

Lord, we thank you!!!

Crying Out

I feel like my soul is bursting right now and I barely can contain it.

I want to fall to my knees and just cry out and say, "Alright God. I hear you. I feel you. And it is now time for me to stop fighting or making excuses. It's time for me to rip the blinders off of my eyes and see the path you have laid out before me."

The culmination of this past year's journey is here and I am scared, nervous, but also amazingly more alive than ever. It's time for a change in my life. A big one. It's been about two years in the making and even though I know it will be difficult and that not everyone will understand, Jared and I are about to start the most amazing faith expedition of our lives.

We are yours God, forever and ever. Amen.

In Memory

This is my journal entry from me and Jared's hike today...

"Jared and I made the hike up to Angel's Rest today and now I'm on a boulder overlooking the Gorge. It is a perfect moment with my very best friend. I'm at complete peace and overwhelmed with just how beautiful it is up here. I'm so blessed to be surrounded by God's creation like this in a place where I live and to be able to share it with my hubby.

We were just sitting on a bench at the end of the trail, soaking up the blue of the water, the varigated green of the trees and the gray mist of the clouds when a man and a young boy cam and sat down next to us on the ground. The man whose name is Jeff, was friendly in conversation and asked if we had ever been up here to the bench before.

It was then that I saw his boquet of colorful dalias.

The bench we were sitting on had a memorial plaque attached to it for a woman by the name of Susan Hendricks. This man was her husband and the boy was her son who was only 10 days old when she died. They come up here, every year, to resand the bench and sit in memory of her.

I couldn't help but cry as I heard her husband talk about his wife and how it has been for his son who has no memory of his Mom. I was overwhelmed by their peace, their smiles and the loving touch of a dad and a son as they sanded away the carvings and weathering of another year gone by.

To me, it was such a precious moment to experience and it reminded me that admist the tragedy of this life, peace can be found in the love we share with others. The memories of people and the impact they had on our lives will never die and never will they stop being important. I know this life will change and there might be a day when Jared isn't by my side. But just as that solitary bench sits overlooking the beauty of the Gorge, I realize my memories of days like today will be a sanctuary for me to find peace and I suddenly know I will be okay.

Thank you Lord, for this day and the glimpse of love and comfort you revealed to me. It was such a gift to behold."


Jeff and Jordan at the bench's initial dedication. For more information, visit the website: www.susanlhendricksmemorials.net


Almost ten years later. They forgot their camera and asked if we wouldn't mind taking one of them. Praying God blesses your family!


A close-up of the plaque on the bench. Very touching.


My hubby and I taking in the beautiful view. I chopped off my hair and got red streaks! Kinda hard to tell in this pic but I feel like a rock star! ;)

Religion vs. The Gospel: Part II

Freedom.

I'll admit until about a month and half ago, that word in the Biblical context really scared me because I didn't understand it. Some Christians use it as a basis for "everything is permissible" kind of lifestyle. Still others choose to ignore the word completely and demand that both they and others around them live their life according the rigid set of religious rules they deemed necessary to obtain holy living. I found myself somewhere in the middle (but sometimes slipping to group #2) and more often than nought, with my head stuck in the sand like an ostrich. Maybe I was afraid of the answer, but for whatever reason I usually chose to dance around the issue so I didn't have to examine it too closely.

I was always left with this question, "What does freedom in the Christian life look like? What is it for?"

To me, it was more of an issue regarding how we chose to live our own lives. But then, I stumbled across Galations 5:13 and my eyes were suddenly opened.

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature[a]; rather, serve one another in love."

The simple truth had been there the entire time and yet I kept missing the point.

The point of freedom isn't about us. It is God's way of relieving us of a heavy burden of following the "law" so that we can focus on others. In the past few month I've been hit time and time again, with just how much the Gospel has an outwardly perspective as its focus. Sometimes I get so concerned with how I doing and how I'm appearing to live my life that I realize I'm missing the point entirely. Not that being concerned about our walk is a bad thing; it's quite the opposite. However, we aren't really fulfilling the purpose God has set before us if we choose to concentrate mostly on ourselves.

I'll admit I see this a lot in myself and in the Church. Sometimes we are afraid "to get our hands dirty" by associating with people that are difficult or involved with things that could lower our image. We can spend a lot of time pouring all of our effort into our own walk that we neglect the ones God has called us to love.

I know it is a whole lot easier to cut these people out of our lives but it is not what the Gospel is asking us to do. It is not what Christ did. The love of what He did on the cross is enough to cover the blemishes of us all. His perfect love couldn't be anymore outwardly demonstrated and in that I find a sense of freedom I am no longer afraid of.

In fact, I embrace it wholeheartedly.

"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love" Galations 5:6

Religion vs The Gospel: Part 1

Religion. Even the sight of the word makes my skin crawl with a shudder. While most people unknowingly use it as a common label for people who have a belief in God, it is in fact, a word that has a deeply dangerous connotation.

A couple of weeks ago, I was blessed to be able to attend Grace Church in San Luis Obispo, CA with my in-laws Joella & Jeremy. The topic of the sermon was one that I found quite pertinent in today's world view and would like to share with whomever stumbles across this blog.

(Galations 5:1-12)

THE DEADLY DANGERS OF RELIGION:

1. Religion renders Christ of no benefit (v2)
Religion is self-centered in its focus.

2. Religion obligates us to perfect obedience (v3)
The problem is, we can't!

3. Religion cuts us off from Christ and God's grace (v4)
God does not accept us because we obey. He accepts us only through His Grace & Son.

4. Religion is not obeying the truth (v7)
The gospel is clear that it is not by works, but by grace through faith that we are saved.

5. Religion is not from God (v8)
It removes the faith element.

6. Religion spreads like leaven (v9)
It spurs pride, judgement, self-reliance & anything we, as Christians, try to add to our "to-do" lists. This can seem harmless at first (ie: habitually reading our Bible, attending church, etc) but a wrong attitude can quickly turn our walk into religion.

7. Religion exposes us to God's judgement (v10)
It severes the relationship aspect and turns it into a self-seeking list.

8. Religion abolishes the stumbling block of the cross (v11)
Sometimes the simplicity of faith is too much for people to overcome.

In contrast, the Bible tells of the genuine truth of God's desire for His people:

THE DELIGHTFUL DIRECTION OF THE GOSPEL:

1. Upward: Faith in the Gospel frees us to wait expectantly for righteousness (v5)
We hope by faith. We are not depending on the burden of ourselves and the drudgery of keeping the law. We are no longer consumed with rule following.

2. Outward: Faith in the Gospel frees us to love others (v6)
"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Love is the fruit of faith...the outward demonstration.

I have to pause here. When I was listening to this sermon I was both deeply amazed and convicted by the truth that was being presented to me. I will admit, it is really easy for me to be the kind of person who makes "lists." I like to be looked at as a "good" Christian and secretly, it can be pretty easy for me to point out what doesn't look so "good" in other people. I recall these times and I realize just how religious I was being. I wanted my gold star, and in doing so probably pushed a lot of people out of my way. People that probably needed to be shown love.

This is the danger of being religious. It takes the Gospel which is so lovingly outward with its focus and turns it into a selfish perspective of duty. I'm pretty sure most Christians don't intend for it to happen, but then, like a bad habit, it creeps back into our life and sucks the living right out of us.

I wonder how many people have suffered at the hands of "religion"? It fascinates me, as well as makes me terribly sad, to think that most people equate the Bible & Christians with religion. I just pray that I can do my part and let people know that God is so much bigger than their misconceptions.

Perspective

Life, even with its struggles, twists and turns, is a very beautiful thing. Sometimes, I forget that. It's so easy to concentrate on whatever issue is consuming me at the moment that I fail to focus on the greater picture of what God is doing in my life.

If I could describe my current life in a single phrase, it would be "take a deep breath." With my job possibly ending in September, us moving, and Jared trying to get into a studio and go full time with the business, it is so easy for me to get caught up in worry and doubt. I kinda feel like we are standing on the edge of the cliff in "The Last Crusade" where Indiana Jones has to have the faith to step onto the "invisible bridge" in his search for the Holy Grail. He knows it is there and that it will carry him across to the other side but actually taking that plunge is a completely different story.

But then I do a quick time of reflection and I know God is doing a great work in our lives through this trying time. He is growing Jared and I closer to each other and closer to Him and we are realizing that EVERYTHING is from His hand and not of our own accord. Awesome thing to learn. He has us here for a reason and I have to trust in that, even when things don't necessarily make a whole lot of sense.

I think that is the beauty of obedience. If God just wanted to give us something, he would. But instead, I think He loves us so much that is He is far more concerned with the process of growing us into He wants us to be. Is it an intricate and difficult process at times? Absolutely. But it is one I wouldn't change for the world.