Listening to the True Voice

Note: I meant to post this before I left out of town to spend Easter with my family. Sorry!

This has been a crazy, crazy week and I have thus come to a startling conclusion:

I am a Gumby Doll.

Now, I will admit that weird, green, clay "thing" really gives me the creeps. What is it exactly? Is it a vegetable? A weird little man from outer space? Whatever "it" is, it sure can be stretched, twisted and molded into anything its creator desires.

And whoa, over the past couple of days have I ever been stretched! I've questioned everything from myself, my abilities, to my purpose as a writer. It has forced me to take the time to clear everybody’s voice from my head and sit quietly in reflection.

That doesn’t come easy to me. I’d rather pick up a book or doodle.

I guess I have been so focused with wanting to reach out to both Christians and Non-Christians with my writing that I have been second-guessing the right way to go about it. HA! As if there is a right way. (More on that later.) To further explain my ambiguous ramblings, here is a snippet of something I posted on the ACFW loop:


“So... I have been in a pickle lately regarding faith
in my writing and since the most recent posts have
kinda touched on the subject, I thought I might as
well join the conversation. Here it is: My first ms is
about a story that is very close to my heart. Though
the circumstances are very different, the message
featured is one I feel very called to share with
others, especially young women. The thing is, it
features quite a bit of Biblical truth that is direct
and very honest (especially for the genre I write in).
It is not harsh but definitely has the Christian
market in mind as it features scripture etc. The
problem is I would LOVE if a non-Christian picked up
something I had written, but am wondering if they
would be put off by what I have included?

Are we to try to balance faith in our writing so that
it appeals to a broader audience?

I will admit, the thought of featuring a 'lighter'
presentation of faith is one that does not sit well in
my belly. But is that my own stubbornness talking?
What is best for His kingdom?”


These were the kinds of questions that have plagued my sleep this past week. I will admit I am an over analyzer and sometimes, on a bad day, even a people pleaser. The writing world is full of critics and though I know I can’t appease them all, it still did not keep that tiny little voice from whispering worries and confusion into my brain, nagging into me a state of self-doubt. Usually, I am so strong and bold in my convictions, but call it a lack of faith on my part, I became so caught up in ‘the best way to do things’ that I forgot it wasn’t my decision to work out.

Thankfully.

After a study of Daniel (Daniel 1:8-17) I realized the only thing I can do is remain true to the kind of woman and writer God has called ME to be. The rest is up to Him. He will put my writing into the hands of those that need it. It will be His Spirit that speaks to people’s hearts. And just as He upheld an obedient Daniel in King Nebuchadnezzar’s court, I have faith my God will sustain me.

Sometimes, I think we stand in the way, and overcomplicate things when we assume it is up to us to figure out how God wants His work to be accomplished.

Instead of listening, being and doing.

And after a week of being stretched and pulled, that simplicity it is beautiful thing.