Paradox

I just came from our church's Good Friday service. It was somber, artistic and absolutely beautiful.

Tonight, I feel the true depth of my soul.

It is a stirring that cannot be contained by words, figures, or even my feable attempts at writing. It feels almost like every crack and crevice of my humanity has been discovered and filled. Sealed. Completed. I can't really explain it beyond that.

For a large part of the service we were just able to sit in contemplation in the darkened silence and let Christ’s presence wash over us. I was once again reminded of the paradox that is Christ’s crucifixion. Amidst the blood, the pain, the agony, the jeering of an ugly crowd, such beauty, hope and finality is discovered there in those moments. His sacrifice is His love. His wounds were our healing.

He didn’t just die so that we could be judicially saved from Hell. He died so that we may be included IN Him, along with the Father and Holy Spirit in a relationship of love, adoration, obedience and acceptance. This is what I love about the Last Supper. When Christ broke the bread and shared the wine, He longed for his disciples (and us!) to experience Him…to taste, sense, feel his sacrifice in a physical and tangible way.

This relationship means healing. It means that there is perfect trust. It means I can’t continue to hide behind a false fear that if God really knew the ugliness I tucked behind the well constructed dark attics of my heart he would reject me. Instead, he goes from room to room, gently, lovingly inviting me to open the door and lay myself exposed before Him. And when I do, I’m not rejected or banished. He places a finger under my chin and lifts my eyes upward to Him. I imagine him standing there, smiling at me and shushing my fears away and wiping my tears with His hands.

Tonight, I was reminded that I am free. I am content to have him search the darkened corners of my heart exposed. Because of His death, I am laid out before Him WITHOUT SHAME.

And so my prayer for you at Easter…let Jesus’ sacrifice be enough. May it bring you the peace that only comes from being reconciled to a relationship with Him. It is not a peace that can be earned but a peace that has been given. Taste it, touch it, inhale its aroma and experience its wonderment.